okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
