We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can i not drive my cunt home
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
