I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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