I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
