I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
