she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?