Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..