so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
