I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
