i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
