My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
