you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
