Plan B is the new Plan A
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize