I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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