My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
