it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
