physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
