Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
