haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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