Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Found your dick twin last night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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