He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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