I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
