This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
