Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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