maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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