When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize