Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
