You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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