Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
