Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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