I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
