p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
