I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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