Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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