I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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