And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
