physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this boner is exhausting
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
