My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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