So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
