I heard we made out
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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