you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
