Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize