Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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