I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
