can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
