so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
