Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
