I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize