Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
