It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
