Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
