Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
