Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
