You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
