Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
