worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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