we're chasing vodka with high fives
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
