Too much gin, very little bucket
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
