I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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